Yes, band members do fight.
And sometimes, that's all it takes to destroy the band.
Bands are always on the verge of falling apart at any time. Imagine a rock band having four members: Drummer, bassist, guitarist and lead singer. You're the guitarist. You commit yourself to the band. You assume that everyone else in the band has the same commitment. You show up on time to rehearsals, you practice your parts so that you are prepared, and you try to be professional at all times. This means, you check your ego and personal issues at the door. Sometimes, this just isn’t enough to keep a band together.
Here's the thing about musicians and artists of all kinds…
Creative people are extremely passionate about what they do. Their art is their identity. That identity can be fragile; and it sometimes requires defending. This sometimes leads to arguments. If this kind of unbridled energy is focused correctly and positively, the outcome can be incredible in the creation of new songs.
Being a member of a band means being in a gang. Everyone has their part to do, and everyone must be able to perform their part equally.
Rule #1 - Every member of every band is replaceable.
Seasoned musicians rarely have issues with arguing, or even dealing with physical confrontations with fellow band members - but it does happen. Most seasoned musicians have played most of their life, and they have played with just about every kind of person you can imagine. A seasoned musician looks at the band as an investment of time, passion and energy towards a goal. That goal is paid gigs. If someone or something gets in the way of this goal, it is usually removed.
Most band members get along just fine. However, there must be a significant balance of personalities. Too many alpha dogs can doom a band project. The leader of the band should have some element of professional focus for the band. He or she is usually the one who guides the direction of the band, makes ultimate choices for song lists, scheduling of rehearsals, paid gigs, and sometimes has to be the grown-up and make grown-up decisions.
The hardest part about being in a band is everyone agreeing to everything. This is an impossible goal for any band. However, compromise must also be considered. It must be agreed by every band member that the decisions made in the band are for the good of the band.
When it becomes abundantly clear that someone in the band is causing more problems than he or she is worth, a strong leader in the band must do his or her best to fix the problem, or replace that individual as soon as possible in order to maintain the positive momentum of the band. Alcohol and drugs are usually the reason why someone gets booted from the band. Other times, it can be domestic or personal issues like a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. Countless numbers of bands have collapsed due to "Yoko Ono syndrome”. That's why rehearsals should always be closed.
Negative ego is a band's worst enemy. The fragility of personalities and the lack of confidence in trusting in fellow band members, will bring a band to its knees. When physical fights happen, that usually means the end of the band. However, this can also be a good thing. It can be seen as an opportunity to start over with different band members.
Professional bands who have nationwide notoriety and tour all year long, almost never have issues with egos or personal baggage. Why? Because at that level, it is a job, just like any other job. Rules and guidelines are absolute. You show up on time for every gig, you play every gig, you do everything you need to do to get along with everyone associated with the band, and you are expected to be professional at all times. These bands have managers and other professional people working for them to take care of all of the tedium that would otherwise draw energy from the band.
A band is like being in a marriage with several other people. It is damned near impossible to maintain. Something always happens. Priorities change, domestic life changes, interests change, and people change. Not everyone is cut out for touring on the road nine months out of the year. Some simply cannot be away from their families for that long. When you are young, you have the world in your hands. Venturing out and seeing every city you can, meeting people from far away places, getting to know other cultures - this is the exciting part of being in a band when you are young. You gotta do it before life happens.
Choosing to be a musician in a band, in spite of and because of all of its flaws is why musicians do their best to keep it all together as long as they can. Other than driving fast motorcycles, there is nothing I know of that is more exhilarating than being in a rock band. You sacrifice sleep, you sacrifice time, you sacrifice tedium, boredom and pain, you invest yourself, you invest your energy, you invest your time, you do all of it unconditionally - because when you were 13-years-old, you wanted to be a rock star. That's why you started taking guitar lessons or drum lessons. You wanted to be in that gang of like-minded, chaotic, creative, artistic people who spoke the same language as you. When you stand on that stage and look over the thousands of people who have come to your concert, it is the highest of highs. It is addicting and it is magical. This is why we become musicians.
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